I have a bit of a confession to make. I feel as though I’ve been going through a bit of a dry spell in my faith. I feel spiritually drained and weary, I find it difficult to pray, and it’s been hard for me to stay focused on tasks that could further the cause of Christ.
I know in my heart that God is real and that He is always present. I can’t and won’t believe that countless billions of people - maybe more - throughout recorded history that have believed in God and in Jesus Christ could be following a lie. There is simply too much around us and in us that presents testament of God’s existence. I feel the presence of my Lord through the uplifting spirit of Christian music; the singers are acting as the channel through which God touches the hearts of the listeners. I feel the presence of Christ when I am together with my fellow believers; Jesus tells us through the Scriptures that “Wherever two or three come together my name, there I am with them.” (Matt. 18:20)
Still, I feel weighted down by my past. I know that by the grace of God I have been forgiven of my sins and have a future eternity with Him waiting for me. But I guess I’m still feeling the repercussions of the irresponsibility and poor choices of my early adulthood. As a grown and (usually) mature adult, I know the direction I need to go, but with the struggles I’ve brought on myself, I’m realizing more and more that there fewer days ahead of me than there are behind, and the time I have to do what I need to do here on earth is dwindling faster all the time.
Against what I know in my heart about my God, I sometimes feel like God has turned His face away, and that I’m walking alone. I don’t know if this is true, or if it is a lie of the enemy of God and His people to make some Christians let go of their faith. Maybe this dry spell is a reminder to me from God that I really can’t do life without Him. The thought has gone through my mind that there might just be something wrong with me or that I’m alone in my struggles, an ant standing among believers with the faith of spiritual giants.
A week ago Vatican City reported that letters written by Mother Teresa revealed that she had been suffering a crisis of faith for the last 40 years of her life. Even while she ministered to the sick and poor in Calcutta, she felt spiritually empty and alone, and even had doubts about the presence or even the existence of God. Although she continued to pray and to do the work she was so well-known for, the feelings of emptiness and loneliness continued as well, likely to the end of her days.
If such a godly woman who lived her life serving God by serving others so selflessly could find herself in a spiritual desert, maybe there are other Christians besides myself in this world that God has made that deal with times of doubt. Maybe the thing I need to do is just to, as has been said many times by the pastor of my church, “Lean into it”, and continue to pray through the dry times and keep up with the work that I believe God wants me to do. I suppose if I continue to try and God is pleased, He will let me know by drawing near to me again; on the other hand, if I continue to believe that He is even remotely present and my course needs correcting, He will let me know that, too.
If I have any readers at all of this blog and any of those few readers have had similar feelings or experiences of spiritual dry spells, I would be honored to receive the feedback. After all, isn’t encouraging one another and building one another up part of what being members of the body of Christ is all about?
May the Lord our God grace you with the sunshine and showers of His presence. God bless.
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9 comments:
That was a great example with Mother Theresa. I struggle with a dry spell every now and then as well. For me, I seem to get recharged with some quality alone time outside in God's creation. You can't help it then to look around and see God's wonder and power.
Keep on sharing!
Your blog is fairly old so you might not even read this. If not, then maybe it will be for me that God has me write this. I have had a dry spell for four years now. When I was a young man, I was in the pentecostal movement, and everything was about "feelings". But I had no real foundation. So in 1979, when I had marital and other problems and then my marriage collapsed, I turned away from God. Four years ago the Lord called me back. This time it was to address my sins and I knew that. However, I have really never had what you would call an "emotional high". I still have difficulty when I pray, but most of the time if I am honest with myself, I know it's because of habitual sin. However, I know that God is with me and I am having to live strictly by faith and faith alone. So no my dear brother, you're not alone, and the dry spells can last a long time. Just keep the faith.
Your blog is fairly old so you might not even read this. If not, then maybe it will be for me that God has me write this. I have had a dry spell for four years now. When I was a young man, I was in the pentecostal movement, and everything was about "feelings". But I had no real foundation. So in 1979, when I had marital and other problems and then my marriage collapsed, I turned away from God. Four years ago the Lord called me back. This time it was to address my sins and I knew that. However, I have really never had what you would call an "emotional high". I still have difficulty when I pray, but most of the time if I am honest with myself, I know it's because of habitual sin. However, I know that God is with me and I am having to live strictly by faith and faith alone. So no my dear brother, you're not alone, and the dry spells can last a long time. Just keep the faith.
Your blog is fairly old so you might not even read this. If not, then maybe it will be for me that God has me write this. I have had a dry spell for four years now. When I was a young man, I was in the pentecostal movement, and everything was about "feelings". But I had no real foundation. So in 1979, when I had marital and other problems and then my marriage collapsed, I turned away from God. Four years ago the Lord called me back. This time it was to address my sins and I knew that. However, I have really never had what you would call an "emotional high". I still have difficulty when I pray, but most of the time if I am honest with myself, I know it's because of habitual sin. However, I know that God is with me and I am having to live strictly by faith and faith alone. So no my dear brother, you're not alone, and the dry spells can last a long time. Just keep the faith.
Your blog is fairly old so you might not even read this. If not, then maybe it will be for me that God has me write this. I have had a dry spell for four years now. When I was a young man, I was in the pentecostal movement, and everything was about "feelings". But I had no real foundation. So in 1979, when I had marital and other problems and then my marriage collapsed, I turned away from God. Four years ago the Lord called me back. This time it was to address my sins and I knew that. However, I have really never had what you would call an "emotional high". I still have difficulty when I pray, but most of the time if I am honest with myself, I know it's because of habitual sin. However, I know that God is with me and I am having to live strictly by faith and faith alone. So no my dear brother, you're not alone, and the dry spells can last a long time. Just keep the faith.
I am currently going through a very similar experience. This emptiness has lasted for at least a couple of years now, and has left me very bitter and lonely; I haven't taken Communion for years and sometimes I wonder if I ever was a Christian, yet, like you, when I look at the beauty and order of the world around me, I am reassured of the existence of God. Even Christ can empathize w/ feeling seperated from the Father, as He cried, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Yet, this abyss has left me feeling like a spiritual zombie; I am unable to witness to anyone; I can't see how wandering around in this desert can benefit anyone. Much love.
Same here brother, I hope the Lord quenched your thirst for him. I'm going through a dry time as well but I know I could never leave or give up on God. Its my first real dry time. I knew one would come eventually the bible has this very idea in it. Israel in the desert, Naomi in the book of Ruth, the book of Esther I mean she had to go through a season of myrrh before she had the season of spice. Thank you for writing your article it has blessed me much. Praise the Lord
Well, the Lord transcends time. So that this blog was from 2007 and it is now 2011 doesn't disuade me from posting. It is now going on 4 years of almost total dryness - and I am finding myself fearful that my beliefs my fail My Lord. I need a desperate touch.
I'm wondering if the author of this blog has since found any relief?
Would love an update!
I could not figure out why it was so hard to go to church, to pray,to read. Finally one day something came to me. Just a simple thought" CRISIS OF FAITH" . I looked it up on "GOOGLE" these words, and found many others like myself. I am grateful for all who write about this and now I am going to read my bible daily and pray daily having faith that I will come out the other side of this. Oh and I will start going back to church because that is where my spiritual family is and they do want to help me.
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